Reviews by J Luoma

This book is what it promises to be, a cavalcade of the classic and some less seen - some total rarities - posters from the Hammer productions over the years. Most of the posters are in good sizes, although there are some reproductions that seem like referential curiosities only. The colour repro is pretty good throughout. What I liked a lot was the fact that the author also discusses some highly interesting censorship related decisions concerning the artwork. There are other occasional insights as well, but not that much text. The original size of each poster is mentioned, which is a huge plus, and the country of origin. I think overall we have a splendid addition to other cool Hammer books by Marcus Hearn, such as Hammer Glamour, and The Hammer Story co-written by Alan Barnes. The size of the book is also excellent and the cover design, the cover itself as well as the jacket.

I was expecting quite a bit from this film because of its theme and year of production, not to mention its director and the blossoming female cast. However, I was quite disappointed. All in all, it's just a tiresome cavalcade of "hip" parties with extremely poor male dancing involved (I did like the dresses though!) added up with sequential lesbian erotica and curious goings-on. Quite a drag-on really, especially compared to such mate-in-period classics as Vampyros Lesbos or She Killed in Ecstasy or a bit later classics such as Linda. I think what was missing was Franco's usual all-delirious directing. In fact, Sinner is much closer to the early 60s Franco than the early 70s. Not a bad film, quite sexy, but missing some essential qualities. I prefer even shit like Mansion of the Living Dead. The Mondo Macabro dvd is very good quality, and yes, even if you're not a Franco completist, you might give this film a go. It might just be me. I am sure there are many people who will appreciate it. For me, it was just too "high street".

The only thing I still yearn for is a clear way of locating the beginnings of the songs - an essential function for "true fans" who will play the songs over and over again. Other than that, the 3-disc special deluxe edition is absolute perfection, crammed with interesting extras, even the Sarah Brightman music videos. I cannot think of anything I'd want more - maybe just the possibility to watch the 5-star film on the big screen day in day out..

The film Deranged is cut, so check out the German UNCUT version. There is also a German version of Motel Hell available.

There are moments in collecting the films of Arnold when you can only sigh. This is one of them. An hour and a half (almost) of bodybuilders, including the classic Lou Ferrigno trying to follow Arnold's holy path. The documentary evidence of an up n' coming Hollywood stardom: "I look up to dictators, who will be remembered for hundreds of years. Even Jesus, who will be remembered for thousands of years." A solid whole. Next on the line should be the sequel.

A nice surprise! In fact, a film without too much unnecessary "fast" editing and effects, storyline or empty dialogue. Just pure ACTION! However, there are a lot of stupid clichees (of course) and basic things any one into directing films would have done differently. Some of these tend to irritate, some tend to entertain. There are many one-liners with attitude, like "Get me the fuck away from America" and "Hide this fucking piece of trash." First it seems Seagal is a psychopath on a rampage, but soon enough we realise he is a kind man looking for justice. But none of this is, at this time, too sugary. It is actually pretty fluent, and a lot of acting is also pretty decent, especially from Vitaly Kravchenko and Byron Mann. Marlaina Mah looks stunned all the way through, but at least she is listening to what Seagal has to tell her about his past... Not a bad film after seeing a lot of these, actually quite refreshing and solid! The music is at times ridiculous, but hey, it is meant to entertain!

This is a film I'd love to love, but there are a few deterrents. First off, I think they lose the main idea right after the pre-titles. It is made hard to become interested. There are too many "experts" speculating on the cases, I think Sherlock Holmes is fine without competition, so why do we have all these doctors and detectives and they all have their "receiving vessels" with them. Annik Borel is great of course, but the real dilemma lies in the direction: it just loses all the "Kodak" moments. We have cool scenes, but what for? The plot is tiresome. I'd love to see on this dvd ALL the scenes with Elio Zamuto or Frederick Stafford within the DELETED scenes! Any good director would have cut their speech. For this reason, I cannot appreciate this movie as a whole. Annik Borel is awesome and a lot of the movie is! Perhaps I will just have to forgive the poor direction, because most of the time the film is pretty darn interesting...

A cheap Eurociné setting for an Ilsa/nazi rip off, but quite a lot of kitsch, pop, nudity, flagellation... and it all takes place in a basic "Gothic castle" of the euro-horror genre! It even has a torture chamber/cellar to top it all off. A film, however, I won't watch again in a long time. They used nice "nazi" vehicles, but all they do is drive them around the yard... Yawn...

Brinke Stevens, Michelle Bauer and Linnea Quigley all in the same movie and mostly acting nude, although Linnea and Michelle don't show that much apart from a glimpse of tits, but Brinke even brings some ass to the stage... The plot involves these three ladies first as nerds, then by an act of occult powers, turned into succubi, who literally suck men to death. We have a few nerdy guys and so on. A highlight of the film is when Linnea performs a punk-ish solo act, the whole song. Great! The best lines in the film: the nerds have asked for a priest to deliver an exorcism on the gals. While at it, we have this conversation:
- Father, let's get back to business.
- I'm not your father, you little shit. I'm not even a priest.
- Calm down, take it easy, dude.
- In what ways did these spirits manifest themselves?
- They seemed to be pretty horny!
A film worth watching, if you are a scream queen fan. Otherwise, I think you can survive without the experience.

A cheaper version of ALIENS? A lot of cool rubber monsters (overacting as hell), some gore, trashy dialog, weird stuff going on all the time. I am aware that this film is not good in the real world, but for a trash aficionado such as myself, it is well enjoyable. The monster baby at the end of the film reminds quite a lot of the one in Peter Jackson's BRAINDEAD. The only drawback of this film is that it contains too many scenes of people crawling in some tube for no apparent reason.