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All reviews - Movies (27) - DVDs (14) - Books (3)

Savate (1995) review

Posted : 1 month, 1 week ago on 9 June 2018 07:51 (A review of Savate (1995))

Oh man, this "movie" sucks eggs big time! Complete waste of film. The only reason I have this is that it's part of a 4-movie dvd set: the three others are divine trash classics: Mission of Justice starring Jeff Wincott and Brigitte Nielsen, Martial Law starring David Carradine and Cynthia Rothrock & Martial Law 2 Undercover starring - once again Jeff Wincott now with Cynthia Rothrock. Savate just does not live up to these kinds of trashy action classics. It is a dull "romantic western" type of piece of shit. Everything about it stinks - even the music is meant for something more meaningful.

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Frankensteinin hirviö [VHS] review

Posted : 7 months ago on 15 December 2017 10:45 (A review of Frankensteinin hirviö [VHS])

This Japanese anime, also known as The Monster of Frankenstein, was dubbed in Finnish in an eerie manner. You can, for instance, hear the monster howl in two ways at a time! Odd. It was typical that the original audio was audible in the background.

The film in Finland was marketed as safe family viewing. Those were the fundamentalist times when even adults were not free to watch what they pleased. Many films, even total bores, were banned or heavily censored. Oh the golden days of yore, Finland in the 80s!

From this perspective, it seems a bit at odds that this film is actually a full-on massacre! And for kids!! A spoiler alert: doctor Frankenstein's daughter becomes friends with the monster, you know the score - but... almost everyone in the film gets killed !!! The monster jumps from a cliff and even Doc offs himself with a shotgun. Whaaaaat....?

If you can live with unhappy endings, check this great movie out if you can find a copy. In Finland, it was released at least twice on video. I think the censors truly slept through this one. Well, there is not much blood, but quite insane stuff.

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Elvira's Haunted Hills review

Posted : 1 year, 8 months ago on 23 October 2016 10:19 (A review of Elvira's Haunted Hills)

If the first Elvira movie is a deemed classic, this "sequel" really struggles to make any sense at all. The plot is very thin, and the movie has very little to do with it (the plot I mean!). I am a huge Elvira fan, so I can't really understand, how this could be, but it surely could. Also, the film stars the godly Richard O'Brien, but even his part as Hellsubus (what the h.....) sucks eggs. I think it was a bad decision to take Elvira to the Middle Ages. This movie really should have been a lot better than it is. The ingredients were first class. The American dvd has some nice extras though. Of course, you still need it, even if it is quite bad.

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Punisher (Steelbook, 1 Blu-ray und 1 DVD) review

Posted : 1 year, 10 months ago on 13 September 2016 07:06 (A review of Punisher (Steelbook, 1 Blu-ray und 1 DVD))

It has the definitive unrated version. The best release of the action classic. The only flaw being the lossy, although clear, audio, Dolby Digital 2.0 (Dolby Pro Logic).

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Mad Max: Fury Road review

Posted : 1 year, 10 months ago on 6 September 2016 08:18 (A review of Mad Max: Fury Road)

OK, I surrender! At first, this reheating seemed like a bad joke, but - although it is all done in a row in the Namibian desert, four different flavors, they just keep on driving the same old sandy roads... the cars themselves are highly creative. The movement is captured like never before. The cast is wonderful: Tom Hardy in an iron mask, Charlize "Hot" Theron in a Sigourney-like role, not to mention the Five Wives! The score is outstanding. There is really little to complain about in this movie.

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Castle of Blood review

Posted : 4 years, 2 months ago on 6 May 2014 07:42 (A review of Castle of Blood)

Wonderful atmosphere, but there is too much walking around and the dude supposedly mr E.A. Poe is a poor imitation; however, the narrative is quite modern. For hardcore gothic cinema fans.

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Amityville 3-D (1983) review

Posted : 5 years ago on 25 June 2013 09:59 (A review of Amityville 3-D (1983))

An absolutely predictable sequel with all the usual mumblings of names proper and arguing elements. Somehow I can't think of this as anything other than a pastiche - not at all scary except for the actual lake house, which is as scary in the daylight as at dusk. Despite its obvious and quite central flaws, we do get to see Meg Ryan in her second cinematic role - what a babyface! I think the first Amityville was quite a drag, although it really seemed all the pieces of a puzzle were in place & 2 is in all its pervyness my sleazy favourite... 3-d has its place: it is good entertainment, especially the hell's well!

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The Devils (Special Edition) review

Posted : 5 years, 10 months ago on 12 September 2012 07:32 (A review of The Devils (Special Edition) )

Excellent picture and audio quality, a good set of extras. A valuable release despite the sad treatment from the Warner Bros not letting them release the complete version.

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Nightmare (Uncut 30th Anniversary Edition) review

Posted : 6 years, 11 months ago on 5 August 2011 08:23 (A review of Nightmare (Uncut 30th Anniversary Edition))

The eventual release of a long-anticipated movie leaves a taste of confusion. For a title a lot of fans have been urging for, for years, the release leaves a sort of weird feeling. I think frustration was not a one-way deal. The giving label Code Red did receive quite a lot of unnecessary shit during the years-in-waiting. I think this overall atmosphere did have an impact on how they saw the project; instead of overwhelming expectation, I sense a slight dose of frustration; for instance, why have the impressive Romano Scavolini interview without subtitles? One could write a 1000-page book on the developments of the project. At times, it even seemed an unprobability. Therefore, I am so happy that the release actually took place! It happened.

In fact, a lot of the confusion is due to the fact, that the viewer is not sure which is the beef. I mean, on the two discs we get three different versions of the film. Perhaps it would have been a good idea to explain these versions a little. For me, at least, it is not that clear. We get a director approved telecine-version, a ”Hi-Def” 1.78:1 ”created from the two best 35mm prints”, and finally on the 2nd disc, which in fact is a DVD-R – another source for confusion, a pirate-looking official disc?? - we get to see a ”brand new 2011 telecine 1.78:1 from a recently discovered slightly better 35mm print”...

I think what we need here is some sort of an explanation of the whole process. As I said, it must have been a distressing experience. Then, why not give the fans what they want – at least a history of that very frustration. It even seems, the label just had enough and threw up this brew of versions and incomplete extras – do what you want, we are fed up!! I hope I am wrong.

At least, the text on the cover is optimistic and positive: ”Many fans claim this will be the biggest selling horror film in the history of DVD!” That is great, and I must be among those optimistic souls, who predict the 100 thousand items will be sold out pretty shortly. So, Code Red, thank you for this absolute favour for the human race, and do not feel frustrated! It is just that those who have waited for so long will demand perfection. No-one demands perfection if you do not promise it many years prior to the actual release.

All in all, although a confused lot, this is a release to have. Although extra-wise it could have been much better, there is nothing better. The film itself is entirely a different story. In brief, I think the Halloween inspiration is just a background. The film has its own atmosphere, and although the gore f/x do look dated and clumsy, the boy actor axing away his father and his ”service” at the end is a classic I think never to be outdone! It is just not possible anymore to use child actors in creative – or in violent or sexual – roles.

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Feeling hammered?

Posted : 7 years, 1 month ago on 6 June 2011 07:47 (A review of Sledgehammer)

Wow! Just when I thought I had seen everything, along comes ... SLEDGEHAMMER! Behold! Warning! This is not for the meek of heart! The film, a horrendous cornucopia of shot-on-video embarrassment, technically inept, nevertheless does leave a good feeling to it after you have survived the experience. The score is dreadful, there is no acting, most of the VHS gimmicks (like endless slo-mo - c'mon how difficult can it be to lock that bloody door!) do not work, none of the crew would get passed any goddamn film studies course. As its best the "film" sucks, but HEY! You cannot underestimate SLEDGEHAMMER's merits, given its no-budget and limited VHS techs, some of the stuff is actually pretty good. And anyone who has seen let's say Andreas Schnaas' VIOLENT SHIT knows that there are ALWAYS worse "movies" around... Yes, the director is ashamed of SLEDGEHAMMER, but then again he IS David Prior, who gave the world some of the BEST trash films, such as DEADLY PREY, also starring his brother Ted... SLEDGEHAMMER is recommended to any true gore fan, at least you can appreciate the bloody murders, which are pretty gruesome in detail and the overall enthusiasm of the project. I think the dvd released by Intervision is pretty okay, although from an obvious VHS source. The extras are very OK, including a superb appraisal from the DESTROY ALL MOVIES!!! author Zack Carlson and an interview with the director himself, who thought it peculiar someone was still watching SLEDGEHAMMER...

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